When change is our only constant, how do we find solace in the chaos and how does our perception of it shape our experience?
This evening I am flying to Edinburgh where I will begin a new life. Everything will be completely new to me. I am excited but naturally a little nervous, as I have no idea what this next chapter of my life holds. For someone who thrives on routine, predictability and planning, I now have to go "with the flow" and relinquish a little bit of control in order to maximise the possibilities of opportunity and abundance. Yes, I can plan a little and make strides to shape my experience (as explored in my previous blog post) but I have no knowledge of the future outcomes- I just have to have a bit of faith and confidence in myself along with the belief that I can handle whatever comes my way.
I think, sometimes, we don't realise how much we are constantly changing and evolving. Of course there might be clear changes to our lives (like a job promotion, moving to a new location or starting a new relationship etc) but what about the shifts within ourselves emotionally and mentally? This got me thinking about change so I asked myself the following question: how have I changed over the past ten years or so? This is quite a big time span but I think it can be tricky to place a precise, restrictive time frame on it. I could therefore reflect freely. Below are a few of my responses:
I now have a clearer sense of my priorities and what is important to me;
I have much more belief in my abilities and feel ready to share this with the world;
I now prioritise my physical and mental health and I realise that this should not be sacrificed for work;
I now understand the importance of self-care thus possess useful strategies for dealing with difficult or uncomfortable emotions;
I have learnt that I have no control over what happens to me but I can control how I react and deal with certain situations;
life is all about experiencing and learning so I have to put trust in its process;
and finally, I have worked hard to develop a more positive and compassionate mindset towards myself.
It can be an interesting process to explore how you've changed over the years and I found this exercise rather empowering. Below is a list of the current thought processes I am working on to adopt:
to fully embrace myself for who I am, by accepting and forgiving myself for past mistakes;
to continue striving to be my authentic self in all situations and all aspects of my life;
and finally, to continue developing and maintaining healthy boundaries in all areas of my life.
This are just a few different ideas of where I am currently in my journey and I believe that reflecting on both the past and present changes will help to shape a more positive future.
Ironically, I have always been someone who has said phrases like "I hate change" or "I don't cope well with change"; however, I am now trying to change (pardon the pun!) that narrative, as I have come to realise that this doesn't serve me. Last night, I experimented with some free writing (as a way of journaling my thoughts) and its revelations were quite interesting; although I am looking forward to this new journey, I feel sad about saying goodbye to different parts of my old life. There's the obvious things like saying goodbye to my pets and family (and this time I've been fortunate to spend with them over the past few months) but there's the less obvious things like saying goodbye to my time travelling, my career break or my "old life". It now feels like a definitive full stop underneath all that and I am now turning the page. Deep down, I know these feelings are probably typical and perhaps symptomatic of my new nerves. However, it's not the end of anything, it's just the beginning and can take anything I choose with me into this new life. As I stated in my previous blog post: I am the author of my next chapter.
The thing is, every new start or big change is scary and when I look back on when I've done it before in my life, I've never regretted it! Even when it's been much harder and more challenging than I thought it would be! I look back on those times and remember all the wonderful lessons I learnt, the inspirational people I met and the new stories it gave me; I've never lost anything from gaining these new experiences.
So, yes change can be scary but here are a few practices that I am going to be implementing (daily) to help me:
take each day at a time and live presently through morning and evening meditations;
check in with myself in order to prioritise and assess mental and physical health;
remember that all experiences are valuable and beneficial, as opposed to seeing things as either simply negative or positive.
So as I sit in the airport and wait for my flight, I remember everything that change has to offer me and I look forward to the ride... I am ready to fully embrace this change!
Thank you for reading my blog!
xxx
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