Lights, Camera, Action! The Story of My Acting Journey...

What goes on backstage? How do we get the courage to emerge from the wings? How do we prepare for performance? What is it like onstage? And finally, cue the curtain call!

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Backstage

Since I was very young, I have always loved the theatre! Acting, singing, dancing and just the general buzz of performing and make-believe! I was always involved in the school productions, attended drama groups outside of school and eventually took drama GCSE. I was a perfectionist with it, simply because I cared so much! I didn't study drama for A-Level as I was (like many other confused teenagers) worried about what I should take for the reality of the "real world" and potential "job prospects". However, after a difficult two years of doing subjects that I really wasn't very good at, I decided to pick it up again for university alongside English Literature. And surprisingly (or not so surprisingly), I found my degree much easier than A-Levels!

In the Wings

After completing my degree, it was then the real world: doing jobs with no future plan; struggling financially; and finally, settling on a career path. With the everyday stresses, the idea of acting and performing fell by the wayside. However, I don't think I can blame my lack of trying entirely on "everyday life"... I think a big part of me didn't want to try, for fear of failing. I also think I lacked self-confidence and self-belief. I remember talking to one of my lecturers and he said: "if it scares you that much, you should do it!" And he was right. Sometimes the things we fear the most, are the things we desire the most... And it feels easier not to try at all to protect ourselves from disappointment.

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"This is not a dress rehearsal,

So be the star of your own show!"

A snippet from 'The Dress Rehearsal' in Untethered: A Collection of Poems and Photography.

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Onstage

As life continued, I focused on my career. Occasionally I attended acting classes and courses and often tried to incorporate it into my teaching career. I still had this burning desire for it and that flame refused to be extinguished.

It wasn't until I took a career break and did some travelling last year that my realisation of how much I wanted to pursue it surfaced. The mental quietness and space that travelling gives you ultimately allows you to listen to that inner voice without disturbance. And as a result of this mental clarity, I vowed to prioritise it in 2025.

The Performance

At the beginning of 2025, I made choices based on this. I moved to Edinburgh- a performer's paradise- and joined theatre clubs. Suddenly the fear of not doing it was greater than the fear of doing it. I put myself out there: attended readings; went to auditions; participated in classes; offered to do front of house; signed up to acting extra agencies; and just generally, tried to take any opportunity.

Since this, I have performed in the Edinburgh Fringe Festival, taken on a main role in another play, and I am about to perform in a theatre next week (the play adaptation of It's a Wonderful Life). It's amazing how quickly doors can open...

Curtain Call

Sometimes I feel frustrated that it took me fifteen years to find this self-confidence and come to this realisation. However, I know that I cannot focus on this. I need to be grateful for my journey and appreciate all it is teaching me. I do believe that everything happens for a reason.

I often think that as we move from childhood to adulthood, we lose the importance of play, creativity and freedom. The freedom to express ourselves without fear of judgement and critique. But I do genuinely believe that, if you enjoy doing something, you should do it regardless of whether or not you're deemed "good" at it or not. If you want to sing... sing! If you want to dance... dance! If you want to write... write! Life is too short to not do the things that bring you joy!

I will always remember a conversation I had during a counselling session (when I was battling a severe bout of depression in my early twenties) as she asked me: "what do you enjoy doing?" My mind went blank. I couldn't think of a single thing. I think in the end I mumbled something about how I used to go running... I couldn't understand how I had got to this place where I didn't do anything for enjoyment anymore...

Life isn't about waiting for external validation. Life isn't about waiting for the "right time". Life isn't about waiting for permission to take up space.

Enjoy this stage and your standing ovation!

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog!

xxx